Its hard for me to believe that a week has already passed since I was in Fresno competing for Miss California. It was not my year to win the crown and job, but I was happy to have finished in the Top 10 again this year and also won top interview. Although, it wasn't my win, because I had asked the Lord for months to speak through me during my interview. He did all the talking, I just stood there in a pretty dress and perfectly teased hair!
To say I wasn't disappointed and sad would be to lie. I was upset I didn't win and confused at why God didn't put me in that position to bring Him the glory. But, I never once lost sight of the fact that it is not my right to understand how He works. Who am I to question His plan? He reminded me throughout the week of competition to trust Him. "Rachel, just trust me." And I kept my sights on Him. I hope I showed the audience, the judges, and the 58 girls I competed with His light.
My mom reminded me of something I had told my sister earlier this year when she was in a dry season for her acting career. She had gotten a lot of auditions and come close many times to booking the jobs, but it was always her age, her look, the timing, whatever the reason, that kept her from booking. At this point, most kids her age turn around and head home and give up on their acting dreams. While I could see the doubt on my sister's face for months, one morning when I walked up the stairs to our apartment past the lemon tree in the front yard, something clicked. We watch those lemons ripen on the tree like hawks! Because they are all nicely shaped and bright yellow in color, it is hard to tell if they are ripe enough to pick.
I told my sister her career was like a lemon on that tree. If a lemon is picked too early, they are too tart and sour to eat. Their life is short-lived. But if the lemon hangs on the tree until it is ripe and mature, it will be picked at the perfect time. Even if we think we are ready, only God knows when the time is right for us to blossom. We may never be picked for a certain job or position, but that is only because God has something better, bigger, and more perfect for us in store. I'm going back on the tree to grow until I'm ready to be picked--according to His timing.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Friday, June 17, 2011
Day 40: My Why
As I sit here in bed at 6:20 am with nothing but a 12 mile run and last minute things to pack separating me from my Fresno departure, I can't believe the time has come! I've been preparing for Miss California since I left the parking lot last year when the competition ended, but really, I feel God has been preparing me for quite a bit longer without my realization.
Michael Jordan said the one thing that separates the good from the great is heart. This is the Michael Jordan who is known as one of the world's greatest basketball players, the same boy who was cut during tryouts from his high school basketball team. I think I know how he felt because I felt the same way when I didn't win any pageants I competed in for many years. But I wasn't going to let any judge's opinions keep me from giving up on what I knew I was supposed to be doing. Brick walls aren't put up to say 'stop pursuing your dream, its time to give up and turn around.' No way--they are there to see how badly we want it and if we will do what it takes to leap over the wall.
The one thing I knew I had to do was surrender. I had to give my talents, my willpower, my desires, my heart all back to God, the one who is in control to begin with. I realized that if I was going to find success, (true, lasting, rewarding success), it was not going to be gained by my own efforts but only by allowing God to accomplish His will for me. I told someone recently how different just one year of life has made me--I feel as though I've grown 5 years in the span of twelve months. I've prayed for the Lord to prepare me--to grow me in areas of weakness and help me solidify my identity in who he has made me to be and not what others see me as. I let God write my story for the last year, and even as I head to Fresno, the pen remains in His hand!
When Danny Cahill from the Biggest Loser spoke at my church a month ago, he said if you can identify your why, your body can endure just about anything to help you achieve it. In other words, if I knew why I wanted to be Miss California, God would take care of the "How" I'd be Miss California part. So I suppose I should put my "Why" into words. I desire to serve as Miss California because of the potential impact I can make in the lives of others. Giving of yourself is to me the most rewarding thing in life. I want to tell others they were made for a purpose and to embrace who they are--flaws and all. I want to carry in my hand a torch of light to inspire darkened hearts in a society consumed by superficiality and be a living example to young women that success in this world doesn't require perfection. I'm as imperfect as the next person. The only difference is I've recently accepted my imperfections and experienced true freedom and inner peace, as well as empowerment to know I'm an instrument in the hands of God. I'd take the job of Miss California if it didn't involve a crown or anything glamourous. My reward in life will not be to look back on a dusty collection of crowns when I'm 80 years old, but it will be marked by the lives I've touched doing as much good as I could to further God's kingdom with my time here on earth.
The end of Esther 4:14 says "Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?"
Other translations read "called into royalty." I am entering this pageant unlike any other in my life. Previously, I put myself in control of my results and performance. But what a weight off my shoulders to have surrendered that control to God. I'm at peace knowing He has my best interest at heart and if this isn't His will for me, something better awaits. In whatever you face, I hope you can also experience that peace knowing there's really nothing you can do to change who God has made you to be and what He has called you to do. Prepare and work hard to be the best version of yourself you can be, but when battles and missions come, He will do the fighting for you. With that I can say, I am Rachel Berry, made to be just how I am by purposeful design, ready to shine my light for Christ, and proudly wear the crown that reads God's daughter, friend, and tool. If you know who you are and whose you are, you can't go wrong.
"My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So be glad to boast in weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through you."
-2 Corinthians 12:9
"Don't be selfish, don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself."
-Philippians 2:3
"A person may plan his own journey, but the Lord directs his steps."
-Proverbs 16:9
Michael Jordan said the one thing that separates the good from the great is heart. This is the Michael Jordan who is known as one of the world's greatest basketball players, the same boy who was cut during tryouts from his high school basketball team. I think I know how he felt because I felt the same way when I didn't win any pageants I competed in for many years. But I wasn't going to let any judge's opinions keep me from giving up on what I knew I was supposed to be doing. Brick walls aren't put up to say 'stop pursuing your dream, its time to give up and turn around.' No way--they are there to see how badly we want it and if we will do what it takes to leap over the wall.
The one thing I knew I had to do was surrender. I had to give my talents, my willpower, my desires, my heart all back to God, the one who is in control to begin with. I realized that if I was going to find success, (true, lasting, rewarding success), it was not going to be gained by my own efforts but only by allowing God to accomplish His will for me. I told someone recently how different just one year of life has made me--I feel as though I've grown 5 years in the span of twelve months. I've prayed for the Lord to prepare me--to grow me in areas of weakness and help me solidify my identity in who he has made me to be and not what others see me as. I let God write my story for the last year, and even as I head to Fresno, the pen remains in His hand!
When Danny Cahill from the Biggest Loser spoke at my church a month ago, he said if you can identify your why, your body can endure just about anything to help you achieve it. In other words, if I knew why I wanted to be Miss California, God would take care of the "How" I'd be Miss California part. So I suppose I should put my "Why" into words. I desire to serve as Miss California because of the potential impact I can make in the lives of others. Giving of yourself is to me the most rewarding thing in life. I want to tell others they were made for a purpose and to embrace who they are--flaws and all. I want to carry in my hand a torch of light to inspire darkened hearts in a society consumed by superficiality and be a living example to young women that success in this world doesn't require perfection. I'm as imperfect as the next person. The only difference is I've recently accepted my imperfections and experienced true freedom and inner peace, as well as empowerment to know I'm an instrument in the hands of God. I'd take the job of Miss California if it didn't involve a crown or anything glamourous. My reward in life will not be to look back on a dusty collection of crowns when I'm 80 years old, but it will be marked by the lives I've touched doing as much good as I could to further God's kingdom with my time here on earth.
The end of Esther 4:14 says "Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?"
Other translations read "called into royalty." I am entering this pageant unlike any other in my life. Previously, I put myself in control of my results and performance. But what a weight off my shoulders to have surrendered that control to God. I'm at peace knowing He has my best interest at heart and if this isn't His will for me, something better awaits. In whatever you face, I hope you can also experience that peace knowing there's really nothing you can do to change who God has made you to be and what He has called you to do. Prepare and work hard to be the best version of yourself you can be, but when battles and missions come, He will do the fighting for you. With that I can say, I am Rachel Berry, made to be just how I am by purposeful design, ready to shine my light for Christ, and proudly wear the crown that reads God's daughter, friend, and tool. If you know who you are and whose you are, you can't go wrong.
"My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So be glad to boast in weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through you."
-2 Corinthians 12:9
"Don't be selfish, don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself."
-Philippians 2:3
"A person may plan his own journey, but the Lord directs his steps."
-Proverbs 16:9
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Day 39: The Checklist
I'm excited to write about one of the best revelations I've been given about destiny. Simply put, you and I were put on this earth with specific gifts and skills to accomplish a unique purpose in life. We are all predestined!
So much of our culture causes us to focus more on what we don't have rather than what we do have. I fell victim to this way of thinking. For years I was held back in my mind by what I didn't have that others around me did. If I could have only been a faster runner on my cross country team, a better dancer, thinner, smarter, or more spontaneous, I thought I'd be able to accomplish my dreams. The enemy loved to torment me with these thoughts and keep my attention on my shortcomings because he knew that would keep me from growing into my full potential.
In the past year, God has given me a great visual for understanding why I had certain things and didn't have other skills. Psalm 139 talks about God making the most inner parts of us as he knits us together in our mother's womb. I picture God holding a huge scroll of paper in His hand with millions of traits, talents, and features and next to each one there is a checkbox. I imagine Him writing my name on the top of the checklist and then carefully examining each trait available and checking the boxes for the ones He gave me, knowing exactly what I need to complete the purpose He will call me to.
I actually had this realization when I was preparing for my last pageant, Miss Orange County. The Lord had called my attention to my strengths. He had made me to be a great tap dancer, physically attractive, emotionally strong, personable, and with the gift of communication/public speaking. On top of that, He has given me a heart that desires to help and serve in a specific way to young women. It became very clear that the skillset I've been given matched the position He was calling me into with pageantry.
It took me 22 years to start thanking the right person for my talents. As I wrote about yesterday with the painter and his painting, I too had fallen into thinking I had something to do with my strengths. Yes, I've worked hard, but even my desires to pursue certain dreams and my work ethic are gifts from God. I can take credit for nothing! I was given what I have because God checked the boxes on the checklist when He created me. I have been so humbled. Now, daily I offer my strengths and talents to the Lord and ask him to use them as he intended them to be used. Not to bring me attention, but to bring Him glory.
Joyce Meyer writes that "whenever we excel in an area, it is only because God has given us a gift of grace for it." I could not agree more. So today, instead of being down about what you don't have, start focusing on what you do have. If God didn't give you the same talent he gave your friend or sibling, its not because He loves you any less, but because the purpose He's given you doesn't require that skill! Ask God to reveal to you what boxes He checked on your checklist. There is nothing more encouraging to me than knowing I did nothing to inherit my strengths and can do nothing but offer them up to the one who gave them to me and with a heart of faith and obedience, watch to see how He'll use me to further His kingdom.
So much of our culture causes us to focus more on what we don't have rather than what we do have. I fell victim to this way of thinking. For years I was held back in my mind by what I didn't have that others around me did. If I could have only been a faster runner on my cross country team, a better dancer, thinner, smarter, or more spontaneous, I thought I'd be able to accomplish my dreams. The enemy loved to torment me with these thoughts and keep my attention on my shortcomings because he knew that would keep me from growing into my full potential.
In the past year, God has given me a great visual for understanding why I had certain things and didn't have other skills. Psalm 139 talks about God making the most inner parts of us as he knits us together in our mother's womb. I picture God holding a huge scroll of paper in His hand with millions of traits, talents, and features and next to each one there is a checkbox. I imagine Him writing my name on the top of the checklist and then carefully examining each trait available and checking the boxes for the ones He gave me, knowing exactly what I need to complete the purpose He will call me to.
I actually had this realization when I was preparing for my last pageant, Miss Orange County. The Lord had called my attention to my strengths. He had made me to be a great tap dancer, physically attractive, emotionally strong, personable, and with the gift of communication/public speaking. On top of that, He has given me a heart that desires to help and serve in a specific way to young women. It became very clear that the skillset I've been given matched the position He was calling me into with pageantry.
It took me 22 years to start thanking the right person for my talents. As I wrote about yesterday with the painter and his painting, I too had fallen into thinking I had something to do with my strengths. Yes, I've worked hard, but even my desires to pursue certain dreams and my work ethic are gifts from God. I can take credit for nothing! I was given what I have because God checked the boxes on the checklist when He created me. I have been so humbled. Now, daily I offer my strengths and talents to the Lord and ask him to use them as he intended them to be used. Not to bring me attention, but to bring Him glory.
Joyce Meyer writes that "whenever we excel in an area, it is only because God has given us a gift of grace for it." I could not agree more. So today, instead of being down about what you don't have, start focusing on what you do have. If God didn't give you the same talent he gave your friend or sibling, its not because He loves you any less, but because the purpose He's given you doesn't require that skill! Ask God to reveal to you what boxes He checked on your checklist. There is nothing more encouraging to me than knowing I did nothing to inherit my strengths and can do nothing but offer them up to the one who gave them to me and with a heart of faith and obedience, watch to see how He'll use me to further His kingdom.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Day 38: The Painter
Most people in life know their strengths. Whether it is their looks, athletic talent, or business skills, if you ask someone what their strong points are, they are quick to reply. They are also quick to take credit for their skills, whether they realize it or not. We live in a society that teaches us to praise people who are beautiful, skinny, successful, unique...you name it.
Have you ever seen a really beautiful painting? One that just makes you stop and ponder and enjoy the detail of the strokes? Imagine you're in an art gallery and see a breathtaking painting an artist is displaying. What would your natural reaction be? Mine would be to compliment the painter on their skill and tell them how lovely their work is!
As natural as that reaction seems, the world has developed a rather unnatural manner when it comes to beauty in human form. When we see a beautiful person, we compliment them. But really, they are the product of an artist at work, and that artist is God. Imagine being in that art gallery and walking up to the painting and saying "wow, painting on the wall, you are so beautiful. Good job making yourself so great." Notice how silly that sounds! But, we've all fallen into that trap with the beauty around us. Whether it is a beautiful person, a breathtaking mountain range, or a serene sunset, we end up praising the creation instead of the creator.
God is the painter of all we know and see in this life. If a person is beautiful, it is only because God has painted them in a combination of strokes that is pleasing to the human eye. If an ocean is a perfect shade of blue water, it is only because God painted the ocean that way. He is the painter of creation and it is about time we start praising the work of His skilled hand!
"We are the clay, you are the potter. We are all formed by your hand."
-Isaiah 64:8
Monday, June 13, 2011
Day 37: Who you judging?
As I am less than a week away from competition, the topic of judgment is weighing large on my mind. Not only will I be judged by a panel of 7 accomplished judges, but when 59 girls spend a week together, I can expect lots of judging will be going on amongst us. That is human nature. My aim is to step above judgmental thoughts towards others and realize the only judge I need to impress who's opinion matters is God's.
Matthew 7 is an excellent chapter about judgement. Judging others has become a natural habit (and downfall) of human nature. Even though we rarely speak our judgments or criticisms, we think them--and that is just as awful. I liked how Matthew 7 starts off incorporating the concept of sowing and reaping. I always think of sowing and reaping only positive things--like if I work hard at my job, I'll reap a raise or promotion. Or if I do good to others, the good will be returned. I had never thought about how sowing bad things returns the reaping of negative consequences. Many times in our life we are reaping what we have sown into the lives of others, both the good and the bad.
"Do not judge, criticize, and condemn others, so that you may not be judged, criticized and condemned yourselves. Just as you judge, criticize, and condemn others, you will be judged and criticized and condemned according to the measure you deal it to others, it will be dealt to you."
-Matthew 7:1-2
The breaking of this habit starts with mind power. Increasing alertness to your thoughts and monitoring them will make you aware of the sometimes unconscious thoughts that pass through your head. Pray the Lord will give you eyes to see others as He sees them, and to recognize their goodness instead of their weakness.
"And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you say to your friend, 'Let me help you get rid of that speck,' when you can't see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye."
-Matthew 7:3-4
This verse is a reminder to focus on making ourselves more holy before we try to fix those around us. The best way to influence is to have your life be a shining example of what Christ intended our lives to look like!
Matthew 7 is an excellent chapter about judgement. Judging others has become a natural habit (and downfall) of human nature. Even though we rarely speak our judgments or criticisms, we think them--and that is just as awful. I liked how Matthew 7 starts off incorporating the concept of sowing and reaping. I always think of sowing and reaping only positive things--like if I work hard at my job, I'll reap a raise or promotion. Or if I do good to others, the good will be returned. I had never thought about how sowing bad things returns the reaping of negative consequences. Many times in our life we are reaping what we have sown into the lives of others, both the good and the bad.
"Do not judge, criticize, and condemn others, so that you may not be judged, criticized and condemned yourselves. Just as you judge, criticize, and condemn others, you will be judged and criticized and condemned according to the measure you deal it to others, it will be dealt to you."
-Matthew 7:1-2
The breaking of this habit starts with mind power. Increasing alertness to your thoughts and monitoring them will make you aware of the sometimes unconscious thoughts that pass through your head. Pray the Lord will give you eyes to see others as He sees them, and to recognize their goodness instead of their weakness.
"And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you say to your friend, 'Let me help you get rid of that speck,' when you can't see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye."
-Matthew 7:3-4
This verse is a reminder to focus on making ourselves more holy before we try to fix those around us. The best way to influence is to have your life be a shining example of what Christ intended our lives to look like!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Day 36: Smaller than Sand
You know when you have sneakers on and you get a tiny rock stuck inside your shoe? It feels like a large pebble and it just gnaws away at your attention like an annoying pain that you can't forget about. The only way to handle it is to get rid of it, which usually involves stopping mid-stride to take off your shoe and dump that pesky thing! This is the only solution to getting rid of the problem, and you'll be driven crazy until you take care of it. These little rocks seem to find their ways into my running shoes oh too often.
This morning my mom and I enjoyed an 11 mile run and were discussing the root of fear and doubts which come from satan. I was expressing a lie satan had been feeding me about my upcoming pageant and she pointed to the sand and rock alongside the road we were running down and said "just remember, the Bible says satan's power is smaller than a speck of sand."
That visual put things into perspective for me. Sometimes it can seem as though satan's lies he feeds us of doubt, fear, and insecurity are consuming and limiting. Just like a rock in our shoe, they are all we can concentrate on. They consume our attention and energy. But really, the power satan has is no bigger than the little rocks or specks of sand in comparison to the power of the Lord! Its time to shift our attention away from the degrading lies and on to the magnificent, limitless, undefinable power of the God we call friend, father, and protector.
Exodus 15:6 says "Your right hand, Lord, is glorious in power. Your right hand, Lord, smashes the enemy."
I love the use of the word smashes. It doesn't read pushed away, brushed aside, or disregarded, but smashed! Completely destroyed, obliterated, and gone without a trace. Remember how there is only one way to remove the annoying rock in your shoe? The same way the Lord deals with the enemy. This power is available to us by using our weapon, the Word of God, to refute the lies the enemy whispers. In my small group we play a little game we've dubbed "satan stompers." We make up common lies the enemy targets young, single women with and when its our turn, we tell the lie to someone as if we were satan. They respond to the lie with a Bible verse that addresses the issue and smashes the lie to pieces. Not only is this effective, it is how we were meant to use the Bible--as a tool to smash out the enemy and utilize the power we have as children of God.
An example of how we play the "game"--
Lie: Rachel, why do you try so hard to be successful? You should know you're never going to be good enough to get what you want. Might as well just give in and settle. You're not meant to be anything more than average.
My response: "No. God says He has great plans to prosper me--not to harm me--and He gives me hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
Nothing will smash the lies you're fed faster and more effectively than God's word. So use it! After all, it is much better to walk through life without pesky rocks in your shoes!
This morning my mom and I enjoyed an 11 mile run and were discussing the root of fear and doubts which come from satan. I was expressing a lie satan had been feeding me about my upcoming pageant and she pointed to the sand and rock alongside the road we were running down and said "just remember, the Bible says satan's power is smaller than a speck of sand."
That visual put things into perspective for me. Sometimes it can seem as though satan's lies he feeds us of doubt, fear, and insecurity are consuming and limiting. Just like a rock in our shoe, they are all we can concentrate on. They consume our attention and energy. But really, the power satan has is no bigger than the little rocks or specks of sand in comparison to the power of the Lord! Its time to shift our attention away from the degrading lies and on to the magnificent, limitless, undefinable power of the God we call friend, father, and protector.
Exodus 15:6 says "Your right hand, Lord, is glorious in power. Your right hand, Lord, smashes the enemy."
I love the use of the word smashes. It doesn't read pushed away, brushed aside, or disregarded, but smashed! Completely destroyed, obliterated, and gone without a trace. Remember how there is only one way to remove the annoying rock in your shoe? The same way the Lord deals with the enemy. This power is available to us by using our weapon, the Word of God, to refute the lies the enemy whispers. In my small group we play a little game we've dubbed "satan stompers." We make up common lies the enemy targets young, single women with and when its our turn, we tell the lie to someone as if we were satan. They respond to the lie with a Bible verse that addresses the issue and smashes the lie to pieces. Not only is this effective, it is how we were meant to use the Bible--as a tool to smash out the enemy and utilize the power we have as children of God.
An example of how we play the "game"--
Lie: Rachel, why do you try so hard to be successful? You should know you're never going to be good enough to get what you want. Might as well just give in and settle. You're not meant to be anything more than average.
My response: "No. God says He has great plans to prosper me--not to harm me--and He gives me hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
Nothing will smash the lies you're fed faster and more effectively than God's word. So use it! After all, it is much better to walk through life without pesky rocks in your shoes!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Day 35: A Prayer
I found this prayer on Teresa Scanlan's blog. She wrote it as a local contestant before she prepared to compete for Miss Nebraska. She was crowned Miss Nebraska, and at age 17, went on to become the youngest Miss America in history. I love the words of this prayer and am humbled to be part of an organization led by strong, Christian women like Teresa!
"Dear God, please help me to be a diligent servant not only today but from here on out. Give me the strength and wisdom to accurately handle your word of truth and the diligence and perseverance necessary to be a worker who is not ashamed. I wish to be a shining light for you, a glowing example of who you are, and a grain of salt in a tasteless world. Whether or not this is achieved through a position, crown, title, or job, please place me exactly where you need me to be an effective ambassador for you. I am clay in your hands, your humble servant, willing to do whatever you wish for me in your perfect plan. I love you so much and thank you for blessing me so tremendously and bestowing such outstanding opportunity on me. My greatest wish is to exemplify your love through my words and actions in order to bring others to you."
"Dear God, please help me to be a diligent servant not only today but from here on out. Give me the strength and wisdom to accurately handle your word of truth and the diligence and perseverance necessary to be a worker who is not ashamed. I wish to be a shining light for you, a glowing example of who you are, and a grain of salt in a tasteless world. Whether or not this is achieved through a position, crown, title, or job, please place me exactly where you need me to be an effective ambassador for you. I am clay in your hands, your humble servant, willing to do whatever you wish for me in your perfect plan. I love you so much and thank you for blessing me so tremendously and bestowing such outstanding opportunity on me. My greatest wish is to exemplify your love through my words and actions in order to bring others to you."
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